Have I turned the last stone?

X is my passion, my ambition. I love X. I am at peace with X. I find solace in X. X defines me to myself. X has pervaded my dreams and my thoughts. One day, I met ABC. He said that I cannot achieve X, I cannot be with X. I asked why. He gave a reason. Obviously, the reason seemed stupid to me. I ignored his warnings and his words of dissuasion. I continued marching, in the hope to unite with X someday soon.

On my way, I met DEF. He argued that I am overly attached to X. I reasoned that they taught me to pursue what I felt strongly about. He agreed, but added, “Not blindly! Apply logic, calculate the odds and if the numbers are favorable, only then give it a shot!”  I replied, “My calculations look fine. Why do you doubt them?” He said because you are not supposed to have X. I asked why I am not supposed to have X, again. He mocked. Then he ignored. And he walked, away! I sighed. But I was energetic and passionate as before. He could not hurt my spirit. I was happy.

I kept fighting. Pointless to say, I hit rocks more often than not. I felt depressed at times for not uniting with X until now. I recalculated. The faith, the feel and the love, all were genuine. My rationale and my instincts were with me. I continued my struggle. I read pages. I read experiences of people. All success stories had been tough. I doubt they gave me inspiration, but yeah they were good enough to keep my hopes alive.

Today, I am still fighting. They say I am a rational guy. I know I am a rational guy. But today, they are questioning my rationality. They always taught me to be relentless for my dreams, for my love, for my passion. Today, the same people are telling me to change my course. They say I am crazy. They say I do not wish to face the reality. They say I am a coward. I have shut my mouth. I have shut my mind to their criticism. I am still fighting. It is because, the faith, the feel and the love, are all genuine.

I will keep on fighting until I am sure that I have turned the last stone. After that, I will accept my fate.

Is Illumination an Illusion?

In the darkest of the jungles, I found myself

Caught unaware, like a butcher's turkey.

Scathing darkness, hostile companionship

Everything seemed to play a havoc on me.

Unafraid, I trudged along, with an unflinching belief

Of finding a route, and out of this obnoxious scheming.

Antagonized as I hit dead ends, thought of nothing but

Of starting all over again, not withstanding any suffering.

Contours I trod on, met unfavorable ends incessantly

My immortal faith was being conquered by disillusion.

Futility of the efforts, stood naked and stared in my face

Success I thought, was a figment of my imagination.

Drained I was! Submission to fate - an only option left

When suddenly, shimmer at a distance caught my eye.

Rejuvenated I felt, I pounced enthusiastically towards it.

I shrieked, "Ah! It was an illusion", I saw the light die.

Alien and I

Has it not become increasingly common to compare actions of a Human to a machine and vice-versa? 'Lives of Humans are becoming mechanical with every passing moment', is a statement that has become rhetoric. 'Urban life is responsible for robbing people of their charming and vibrant nature', has become a cliché.

Progress in artificial intelligence is happening at a neck-breaking speed. Human is investing His efforts and brains in automating and speeding up His lifestyle. Robots are summoned for duties that span the entire spectrum; from cleaning of a house to solving a multi-variable 'p'th degree, 'n'th order partial differential equation. To get a rough estimate, in the time You finish reading this article a leading motor-bike company would have assembled at least a double digit motor-bikes, a cigarette producing company would have rolled thousands of cigarettes and a trading algorithm would have generated millions for its Owner.

Undoubtedly, Human progress in the materialistic realm has been phenomenal. Human has defied convention; He has proven conventional wisdom fallible. Human has defied boundaries; He has gone that extra mile. Humans have hailed Scientists for achieving supernatural feats and damned the same Ones for being resistant to intellectual developments. He has been extremely ruthless and mediocrity has been unacceptable to Him. He is relentless, even today.

I have complete faith in one thought, ‘Nothing comes for free, if it does, it’s worthless.’ When Human did set himself standards as great as those He had to pay a price to emulate them. His mechanical lifestyle is a direct outcome of the kind of balance He showed in his professional and personal quests. Valuation of materialistic success probably outweighed emotional satisfaction, which in itself is very difficult to fathom as there has been no reliable quantification of emotions.

After pondering over it all this while I am remembered of my childhood days. Aliens, UFOs, Extra-Terrestrials and high end technology. Aliens must be like You and Me, but technologically advanced. Aliens must be advanced Humans Who have managed to find life or developed one outside Our planet Earth with exceptional technological development and innovation. They have Their civilization based there. Most of Them are portrayed emotionally subnormal and lead mechanical lives in our fiction series. It may be just that They felt nostalgic (a rare kick that makes Them emotional about Their past) or had technology and money (conceptual: medium of exchange) to splurge on an inter-planetary/ galaxy travel that They came around and We happened to spot Them. Big deal, do We not get nostalgic and visit ancient caves?

Trading my Life!

Today morning, I thought of a thought

My life is precious, and also is short

It is unjust to waste it, the way I do

I pondered, shouldn't I really love you?

Clock strikes 11, change in the scene

Am in my cabin, in front of my screen

Bulged out pupils, and a focused mind
Market vector for me, is simple to find

Joys of yesterday, see no sustenance
Hope to find love, has lost its existence
Converted I am, emotionless like a robot
Money is the motive, all that I have got

News come, numbers on screens blink
Ready with moves, need no time to think
Maneuver the mouse, clicks after clicks
I mint big money, in series of swift flicks

Clock strikes 11, I am out of my cabin
Thoughts queue up, brain starts ringin'
Brain cries foul, "Hey! I need some rest!"
Heart overpowers it, takes its tough test

I remember all the good time, spent with you
Today, don't have a moment to spare for you
I realize it now, it would have been better
Had I stayed for long, in your heart's shelter

Life is a race, a terrible race against time
Resting I thought, was the biggest crime

I am a trader, unaware of the cruel end
What I'm trading, is our lives my dear friend!

P.S. : Views expressed above are by no means my personal view points. They are just an imaginary creation!

War of Gods

Special thanks to
-Indranil

Lethal souls
Hungry all night
Ready to devour
Anyone in sight
Blood they crave
Blood they get
No remorse
No regret.

You asleep
In your bed
Unaware of
Death ahead
They will come
Rip you apart
Suck your blood
Relish your heart

Money be the cause
Or religion in a way
Whatever you mortals
Prefer to say
All are His means
All are His ways
You are the pawns
Proudly He says

All are selfish
Gods no exception
Evil is a God
Peace His vision
Unending war of Gods
All aspire to be the King
Soon Evil will win
Sooner another Evil will spring

Times change
Not the demons
Always follow
The Satanic sermons
Evil was there
And Evil shall be
Fuck the peace
No tranquility.

She, my Friend!

I have a Friend of mine,
She is my sunshine.
Moments I spend with Her,
Are truly divine.

She always wears a smile,
It makes life worthwhile.
She believes trouble is virtual,
Life, to live, is so simple!

Pretension in Her kingdom is impossible,
Confession is an act, truly unavoidable.
In front of Her, I can behave in the stupidest way.
Crazy! Insane! She doesn't care what they say.

Her presence is like of a morning Sun-ray,
Full of hope and love, cheerful and gay.
Absence is like that of a moonless night,
Full of dread and fear, no hope in sight.

Life is splendid, when I have Her, the One,
With whom I can share the joy and have fun.
Lips broaden naturally, eyes moisten innocently,
Never I realize, I am submitted to Her inevitably.

She asserts no star is far away, no dream out of sight
All I need to do is, step in the field and feel the delight.
She puts Her faith in me, "You will succeed", says to me
"Because, you can fail yourself, but never ever me!"

When I am lost, She comforts me deep inside,
She is my Savior; She helps me in every stride.
If not for Her, I would have a lot to suffer
Because of Her, I have whole life to cheer.

The naive smile on Her face is a fuel to my life,
And pure love in Her heart, keeps me from all the strife.
Trust is a vital ingredient, toughest to find.
"I trust Her, always", only clear fact in my mind.

I am cruel at times, harsh in my lines
She never bothers to rebel, for She is too wise.
I am a stupid, I am an idiot, I find faults in Her,
She is a gem, She accepts all without a word.

I am a mortal defined by many imperfections,
She loves them all, beyond any expectations.
Her benevolent act of selfless acceptance,
Is the reason for my unquestioned compliance.

So Obvious I am to Her, She needs none of my words.
"You are just too simple", is only what She utters.
I cry, "God! Please be kind, let me feel the simplicity."
But, I end up thanking Him, for His generosity!

Homicide or Suicide?

(Man on his deathbed to his wife)

Sing with me O babe, sing with me
I crave for it, like I crave for thee
Your voice that tinkles, sounds heavenly
To hear, I’d love to wait till eternity.

Walk with me O babe, walk with me
As you walked, from the day wed we
These are the last steps I will take
Happy and jolly they be, sure you make.

Smile with me O babe, smile with me
Together let’s fight out this grief and pity
I need none of that when you are near
As no Satan, no pain in this world I fear.

Dance with me O babe, dance with me
Like you danced under our apple tree
Mortals are we and I win the old bet
Now, it is a farewell I deserve to get.

(Woman to herself)

I had twenty-four hours before I’d die
And I desired to never see you cry
I know, more than your life you love me
Poisoned you, for you'd shatter without me
Please forgive me, I love thee!

(Man to himself)

I knew you just had a day more with me
Understood, when you poisoned my tea
I felt sad for you, but happy for me
You were the best I ever had with me!
Please forgive me, I love thee.

P.S: Is it justified in the name of love?

Truth

A speck of dust. Let’s do the christening. Dusty. Yes, that is all for the description. For a moment, let’s be sexist and address Dusty by him.

Dusty always wondered how trees could grow up to hundreds of feet above earth and how life existed thousands of feet below water. He was awestruck by the energy of the Sun and marveled when he felt the serenity of the Moon. He knew about huge galaxies and was aware about the infinitesimal molecules. He was always left dumbfounded to find an annoyingly perfect balance wherever he glanced. For Dusty, this Universe was just perfectly balanced. Dusty knew that he was dimensionally insignificant as far as the Universe was concerned. But, he believed he had a specific purpose out there in that seemingly unending Jungle. He was very curious to know the truth- that eternal truth. It haunted him day and night.

One fine morning, Dusty set out on his path in the search of that eternal truth. That was the beginning of many endings and the ending of many beginnings. As he began, he laughed at the illusion of freedom that existed in the minds of earthly beings. He could see that people on earth were anything but not free. He sensed slavery all around. All were enslaved to one or the other materialistic entity. How stupid! Dusty thought. Well, this was the first time Dusty thought of this thought to be stupid. He sensed the existence of evil everywhere. He smelt evil, saw evil, touched evil, tasted evil and heard evil. He recognized his unforgiving role in this arrangement of soreness. His inclusion in this complex web of selfishness, sin and malevolence thrashed him emotionally beyond any mortal expectations. He sighed. He was for a moment shattered by the sudden realization of him being generously responsible for the grief that prevailed. But, the thrust to find that eternal truth kept Dusty going. Dusty moved on.

A feeling of repentance for his sins kindled in his heart. Slowly, he felt he was getting lifted. There was no physical mechanism he could point at. In fact, it was his undying quest that took him higher and higher. As he was rising, he felt himself breaking the malicious worldly chains he found himself entangled in. He began feeling light and relaxed. He could see his fellow-mates still trapped down. It aroused a feeling of compassion in his mind, contrary to what he would have felt on earth- a sadistic pleasure to see his fellow-mates in difficulties. He appreciated beauty the way he had never done before. He relished the purity of nature. He could see lakes and forests, empires and slums. In his mind there no more existed a distinction between the rich and the poor, the powerful and the weak. He could see all, feel all and love all. He felt things the way they were, the way they were actually planned and not the way he wanted them to be. His thoughts were transcending planes after planes. He realized two things- life is beautiful and you must love all. He felt asleep.

Dusty woke up to see the morning Sun and felt a lot better. He did not care for that eternal truth anymore. He found something far better to lead a truly happy life. He started descending the hill at IIT Bombay that he climbed at 06:30 in the morning. Dusty was no one but me, Vishal.