I grew up in a modest middle
class Indian family. Mowgli, Arabian Nights, Sunday morning Ramayana, MS-DOS,
Pac-man and Road rash, 1996 Cricket World Cup Semifinal, Sharjah Cup, DDLJ,
Long queues in phone booths, Craze for getting hands on a computer with
Windows95 OS and hardly 64MB RAM are fresh in my memory and shall remain so. I
am from the generation that was in its infancy when India accepted trade
liberalization. According to me, it not only facilitated exchange of goods and
services but also played an important role in accelerating exchange of culture
and ideas. This blog superficially discusses the irreversible and cascading nature
of compromises that one makes.
In the mid-1990s, life was
predominantly occupied by academics, cricket and close-knit friend circle.
Relationships with everyone were agreeable. But, no sooner did we enter high
school than the clashes of thoughts began. Not that they were major hassles but
were strong indicators of the future divergence. Well, it shall definitely be
attributed to youth – youth by nature is rebellious. Disproportionate focus on academics,
lack of focus on practical application, narrow barometers for comparison,
choosing safer option at every step, compromising passion for a livelihood were
certain aspects that were prevalent under the pretext of being practical. Revulsion
to such practicality must have provoked many of us to not compromise our lives,
passion, and broad-mindedness as we entered the 21st century.
As we entered colleges, many
chose engineering over painting, medical over dancing, something over something
and so on. Choice of an option was ironically; less influenced by interest and was
more dependent on monetary returns that the option promised. Obvious reason cited
for such an inane behavior was - painting, dancing and other non-academic
activities can be practiced alongside. At a sub-conscious level, this
compromise might have given birth to a desire of pursuing the forgone activity
sometime in future. Soon the 3-5 years of graduation passed by. We enjoyed
life, friends and college. But, hardly did anyone find time to pursue their
core interests or search for one if they had not figured it out till now. Mind
you – the desire in sub-conscious shall not die. It’ll only strengthen (an
assumption).
Graduation complete – Where’s the
money my son? JOB is the key. Again, what one is good at is less critical but which
job pays more is of prime importance. Another compromise. Earning a few grand
more becomes more important than pursuing one’s interest. The desire in the
sub-conscious strengthens its presence. This compromise leads to more compromises.
Innumerable compromises follow. All under similar pretexts – practically not
viable, socially unacceptable, life is not so simple and so on. It’s nothing
but a Domino effect. Do not let the 1st domino fall – implies shy
away from the 1st compromise. Deep down everyone knows that one does
not have enough courage to face the truth of one’s ugly compromises.
I apologize for such a simplistic
approach but this is how I thought it can begin and can be worked upon. I have apparently
restricted myself to professional choices. But non-professional choices can be plugged
in equally well. Point that I wish to drive home is the fact that compromising
today shall ask for more efforts tomorrow to undo the compromise and it’s
highly likely that this greater effort will not come easily and you’ll find
yourself compromising again soon. But the worst thing is that the sub-conscious
(pardon the technical ignorance) will not let you go. It will not let you
sleep. It knows if you have screwed. And consequentially, one fine day – when the
road to go back does not exist, you will find yourself company in the form of a
naïve question. “Sab to pa liya, ab hai kya kami?” – Swades.
Hence, if possible, Stop –
Reflect – Confirm that you are doing what you wished to – If Yes, perfect – If no,
change course as tomorrow it’ll be harder than today.
Fundae overdose
ReplyDeletehmm!.
ReplyDeleteMaars.. read your blog for the first time. This entry really is my state of mind. You have very rightly captured it... It really has gotten harder with every passing day.
ReplyDeleteGood job, my friend.